Larpbimnart is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, awesome jellyfish.

Larpbimnart created a charm quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Larpbimnart, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Larpbimnart, he will ignore you.

Larpbimnart's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Larpbimnart's Holy Commandments

1. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

2. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Larpbimnart on top of all buildings.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.