Pangjonpod is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unthinking cat.

Pangjonpod created dark matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangjonpod, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Pangjonpod, it will turn you into a puffin.

Pangjonpod's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Pangjonpod's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never wear fawn jumpers.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Worship no other gods but Pangjonpod.

5. Never look in ponds.