Bagcum is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, vain rat.

Bagcum created the planet Mars five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagcum, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bagcum, she will send minions to preach to you.

Bagcum's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Bagcum's Holy Commandments

1. Bagcum loves horses, so they must be respected.

2. Do not wear platinum on your body.

3. Erect nine titanium sculptures of Bagcum on top of important buildings.

4. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Run away if six porpoises approach from the east.