Tabcuntag is a god.

He takes the form of a small, unthinking jackal.

Tabcuntag created the solar system two million years ago.

If you believe in Tabcuntag, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Tabcuntag, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Tabcuntag's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Tabcuntag's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry frogs.

2. Never wear cyan trousers.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always help sick aardvarks.

5. Fast once a month.