Quimmatpak is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, kind finch.

Quimmatpak created viruses twelve years ago.

If you believe in Quimmatpak, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Quimmatpak, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Quimmatpak's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Quimmatpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt seals.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never jump near frogs.

4. Worship no other gods but Quimmatpak.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.