Negstigwancud is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, clever chicken.

Negstigwancud created matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Negstigwancud, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Negstigwancud, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Negstigwancud's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Negstigwancud's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always obey Negstigwancud's priests.

3. Negstigwancud must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.