Tiptigpagfid is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, charitable lobster.

Tiptigpagfid created the Milkyway eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tiptigpagfid, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tiptigpagfid, she will turn you into a dog.

Tiptigpagfid's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Tiptigpagfid's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

4. Do not eat lentils.

5. Never eat bananas.