Quammaparpontdap is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, contented raccoon.

Quammaparpontdap created dark energy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Quammaparpontdap, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Quammaparpontdap, it will boil you in a big pot.

Quammaparpontdap's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Quammaparpontdap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Always help sheep in need.

3. Never laugh in the presence of geese.

4. Never sing near ants.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.