Disszagven is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, narcissistic gorilla.

Disszagven created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Disszagven, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Disszagven, she will be mildly annoyed.

Disszagven's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Disszagven's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Always look after injured otters.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Disszagven loves sheep, so they must be respected.