Kanfargad is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, witty jellyfish.

Kanfargad created matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kanfargad, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kanfargad, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Kanfargad's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Kanfargad's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never paint your neck magenta.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always treat pigs with great respect.

5. Do not make images of living things.