Fatkinbem is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, flying dugong.

Fatkinbem created a charm quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatkinbem, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fatkinbem, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Fatkinbem's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Fatkinbem's Holy Commandments

1. Fatkinbem loves shrews, so they must be respected.

2. Never hurt goats.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.