Sterjopflis is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, blissful bat.

Sterjopflis created tapeworms eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sterjopflis, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sterjopflis, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Sterjopflis' most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Sterjopflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never wear pink stockings.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Never bounce near nematodes.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.