Podqueegpas is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, impressive meerkat.

Podqueegpas created parasitic wasps eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Podqueegpas, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Podqueegpas, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Podqueegpas' most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Podqueegpas' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Never hurt sheep.

3. Never talk about turtles.

4. Always look after injured whales.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.