Gamsiswee is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthoughtful mole.

Gamsiswee created vertebrates five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamsiswee, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gamsiswee, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gamsiswee's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Gamsiswee's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Feed all hungry porpoises.

5. Never talk about snails.