Fithubominjaptim is a god.

It takes the form of a large, awe-inspiring dryad.

Fithubominjaptim created oxygen four million years ago.

If you believe in Fithubominjaptim, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fithubominjaptim, it will turn you into a slug.

Fithubominjaptim's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Fithubominjaptim's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Fithubominjaptim loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never bounce in holy places.