Veenfutquim is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, loving gorilla.

Veenfutquim created life eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veenfutquim, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Veenfutquim, he will refuse to believe in you.

Veenfutquim's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Veenfutquim's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never wear orange scarves.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.