Mapmutbet is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, able ant.

Mapmutbet created oxygen five billion years ago.

If you believe in Mapmutbet, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Mapmutbet, he will turn you into a tree.

Mapmutbet's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Mapmutbet's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never go into yellow rooms.

3. Never feed lemons to squirrels while wearing orange scarves.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.