Butquartdag is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unthoughtful dryad.

Butquartdag created gold six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Butquartdag, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Butquartdag, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Butquartdag's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Butquartdag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill rats.

2. Never feed pineapples to whales while wearing brown coats.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Hide if seven turtles approach from the east.

5. Erect four copper sculptures of Butquartdag on top of important buildings.