Loopbitarm is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, humane dingo.

Loopbitarm created the universe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopbitarm, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Loopbitarm, he will turn you into a puffin.

Loopbitarm's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Loopbitarm's Holy Commandments

1. Sheep are not to be trusted.

2. Retreat if nine mice approach from the south.

3. Run away if five geese approach from the east.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Never eat bark.