Omtpidtailrottignilkadfut is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, self-assured hamster.

Omtpidtailrottignilkadfut created humanity six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtpidtailrottignilkadfut, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Omtpidtailrottignilkadfut, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Omtpidtailrottignilkadfut's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Omtpidtailrottignilkadfut's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Omtpidtailrottignilkadfut's priests.

2. Never paint your head pink.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Omtpidtailrottignilkadfut.