Laksugjip is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, dishonest snake.

Laksugjip created the Whirlpool Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Laksugjip, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Laksugjip, it will try to impress you with trees.

Laksugjip's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Laksugjip's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Laksugjip.

3. Never wear hats.

4. Never think ill of sick sharks.

5. Never eat bark.