Dadpadfen Dinhamgub is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, merciful donkey.

Dadpadfen Dinhamgub created humankind four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dadpadfen Dinhamgub, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dadpadfen Dinhamgub, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Dadpadfen Dinhamgub's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Dadpadfen Dinhamgub's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine otters approach from the west.

2. Always obey Dadpadfen Dinhamgub's priests.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

5. Never write about planets.