Ditlinnart is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, pitiless meerkat.

Ditlinnart created the universe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Ditlinnart, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ditlinnart, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Ditlinnart's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Ditlinnart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never bounce in the presence of horses.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.