Dibcitlad is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, prudent faun.

Dibcitlad created parasitic wasps seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dibcitlad, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Dibcitlad, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Dibcitlad's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Dibcitlad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never paint your back black.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.