Sakkarsan is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omniscient horse.

Sakkarsan created everything that exists three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakkarsan, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sakkarsan, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Sakkarsan's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Sakkarsan's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not hurt seals.