Xucklargbopcuss is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, emotional horse.

Xucklargbopcuss created Asia six billion years ago.

If you believe in Xucklargbopcuss, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Xucklargbopcuss, she will make you grow a tail.

Xucklargbopcuss' most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Xucklargbopcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Xucklargbopcuss' name in vain.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.

3. Never eat lentils.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Never write about gravity.