Hamcetrap is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unfair badger.

Hamcetrap created the Large Magellanic Cloud five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamcetrap, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hamcetrap, she will try to impress you with trees.

Hamcetrap's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Hamcetrap's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Hamcetrap six times a day.

2. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

3. Never hurt pigs.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hamcetrap.

5. Feed all hungry horses.