Farwanbig is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, sage badger.

Farwanbig created matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Farwanbig, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Farwanbig, it will destroy your favourite star.

Farwanbig's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Farwanbig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear carbon on your body.

2. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

3. Do not drink water in green rooms.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not make images of living things.