Loopmap is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, weak cat.

Loopmap created the Milkyway seven million years ago.

If you believe in Loopmap, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Loopmap, she will be mildly annoyed.

Loopmap's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Loopmap's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

3. Never wear corsets.

4. Run away from mauve manatees, for they are unholy.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.
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