Wapvoggid is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, ruthless gnu.

Wapvoggid created Africa six billion years ago.

If you believe in Wapvoggid, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Wapvoggid, she will turn you into a goat.

Wapvoggid's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Wapvoggid's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at stars.

2. Always look after injured turtles.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Retreat if six moths approach from the east.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.