Basspigzag is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unsympathetic toad.

Basspigzag created a down quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Basspigzag, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Basspigzag, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Basspigzag's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Basspigzag's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not eat turnips.