Cemyenfon is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, unsympathetic wolf.

Cemyenfon created the universe four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemyenfon, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cemyenfon, it will manifest in front of you.

Cemyenfon's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Cemyenfon's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Worship no other gods but Cemyenfon.

3. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Cemyenfon on top of all buildings.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.