Yenjinzagtarp is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, sapient wombat.

Yenjinzagtarp created Europe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yenjinzagtarp, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yenjinzagtarp, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yenjinzagtarp's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Yenjinzagtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured frogs.

2. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not dye your hair black.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.