Pad is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, competent raccoon.

Pad created gold eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Pad, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Pad, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Pad's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Pad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never eat apples.

5. Do not chop down trees.