Fatcebven is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, idiotic pigeon.

Fatcebven created a top quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatcebven, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fatcebven, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Fatcebven's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Fatcebven's Holy Commandments

1. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never jump near manatees.

4. Never eat peanuts.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.