Gatnartwip is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, wise lizard.

Gatnartwip created water two million years ago.

If you believe in Gatnartwip, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gatnartwip, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Gatnartwip's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Gatnartwip's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never hurt sheep.

5. Never feed carrots to bats while wearing red shorts.