Larpkabjamtiklenyok Armlikjen is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, prudent ferret.

Larpkabjamtiklenyok Armlikjen created Asia two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpkabjamtiklenyok Armlikjen, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Larpkabjamtiklenyok Armlikjen, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Larpkabjamtiklenyok Armlikjen's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Larpkabjamtiklenyok Armlikjen's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Larpkabjamtiklenyok Armlikjen on top of all buildings.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always help sick shrews.

5. Always help whales in need.