Xembamcid is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, unfair dog.

Xembamcid created Asia seven million years ago.

If you believe in Xembamcid, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Xembamcid, it will turn you into a hamster.

Xembamcid's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Xembamcid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Never think about nebulae.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not dye your hair pink.