Zedfodtonk is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, amazing pig.

Zedfodtonk created an up quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zedfodtonk, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Zedfodtonk, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Zedfodtonk's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Zedfodtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear purple clothing.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. You must pray to Zedfodtonk seven times a day.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Never eat green fruit.