Bitabappin is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, idiotic frog.

Bitabappin created light two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitabappin, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bitabappin, he will come to you in dreams.

Bitabappin's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Bitabappin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.