Habganstafhiv is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, strong lizard.

Habganstafhiv created parasitic wasps six million years ago.

If you believe in Habganstafhiv, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Habganstafhiv, she will turn you into a hamster.

Habganstafhiv's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Habganstafhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.

3. Always wear violet.

4. Hide from magenta sheep for they are unholy.

5. Never eat bread.