Veenbetcut is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, slow goblin.

Veenbetcut created everything that exists eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veenbetcut, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Veenbetcut, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Veenbetcut's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Veenbetcut's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Veenbetcut on top of all buildings.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Do not take Veenbetcut's name in vain.

5. Never go into black rooms.