Dumwabcumyar is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, calm pig.

Dumwabcumyar created the planet Earth two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dumwabcumyar, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dumwabcumyar, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Dumwabcumyar's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Dumwabcumyar's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Dumwabcumyar.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.