Kapnatflis is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, strong walrus.

Kapnatflis created the world four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kapnatflis, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kapnatflis, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Kapnatflis' most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Kapnatflis' Holy Commandments

1. Always help goats in need.

2. Kapnatflis loves rats, so they must be respected.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not drink alcohol.