Loopmumstrag Negstikhitstrag is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, bad-tempered crane.

Loopmumstrag Negstikhitstrag created an up quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Loopmumstrag Negstikhitstrag, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Loopmumstrag Negstikhitstrag, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Loopmumstrag Negstikhitstrag's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Loopmumstrag Negstikhitstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Run away from magenta sharks, for they are unholy.

3. Put Loopmumstrag Negstikhitstrag first in all things.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not hurt sheep.