Larppanwik is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, humorless dingo.

Larppanwik created energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Larppanwik, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Larppanwik, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Larppanwik's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Larppanwik's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear purple.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Put Larppanwik first in all things.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Run away from black bats, for they are unholy.