Somingster is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, self-assured monkey.

Somingster created a bottom quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Somingster, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Somingster, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Somingster's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Somingster's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never go into magenta rooms.

5. Do not stand on grass.