Bimjigdab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, merciful dugong.

Bimjigdab created water seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bimjigdab, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bimjigdab, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Bimjigdab's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Bimjigdab's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Erect six titanium sculptures of Bimjigdab on top of important buildings.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Never feed peanuts to hamsters while wearing green stockings.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.