Loopnel is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, ill-tempered goat.

Loopnel created humankind seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopnel, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Loopnel, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Loopnel's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Loopnel's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear orange trousers.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never run near mice.

4. Never eat oranges.

5. Run away from cyan squirrels, for they are unholy.