Bapstanrow Wabcibzig is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, narcissistic jellyfish.

Bapstanrow Wabcibzig created a down quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapstanrow Wabcibzig, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bapstanrow Wabcibzig, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Bapstanrow Wabcibzig's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Bapstanrow Wabcibzig's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bapstanrow Wabcibzig.